IT'S NOT GAY..IT'S FASHION

India-Land is Gay and Fashion

2011-08-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

A bad-ass whore named Cynthia made this video for us. We rarely use this blog for self-promotion (as we have other useless outlets for that) however- THIS VIDEO FUCKING RULES- and we wanted the three people who subscribe here to see it.

While we're at it- the song comes from the HANGOVER 2 episode of our webseries In Your Box Office. Check it out, if you haven't seen it..

BLAM! BITCH PUDDIN' IS GAY AND FASHION.

2011-06-19T17:08:00.000-07:00

THIS IS WHAT'S HAPPENING.

2011-06-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

BARACK OBAMA IS SO FUCKING GAY AND SO FUCKING FASHION.. WE CAN'T EVEN HANDLE OUR LOVE FOR HIM.

2011-05-30T17:03:00.000-07:00

If you haven't read the Obama interview in ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE, please take a few minutes and change your own life.

Here is a little excerpt from the interview which epitomizes Obama and shows the class and integrity that he brings to an office that has been missing it for decades.

What has surprised you the most about these first two years in office? What advice would you give your successor about the first two years?
Over the past two years, what I probably anticipated but you don't fully appreciate until you're in the job, is something I said earlier, which is if a problem is easy, it doesn't hit my desk. If there's an obvious solution, it never arrives here — somebody else has solved it a long time ago. The issues that cross my desk are hard and complicated, and oftentimes involve the clash not of right and wrong, but of two rights. And you're having to balance and reconcile against competing values that are equally legitimate.

THE PARADOX OF CHOICES

2011-03-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

SAYING GOODBYE SUCKS ASS

2011-03-01T21:19:00.000-08:00

The Awl wrote a genius guide for all of us socially awkward chodes that need to learn how to end a conversation properly.

And we plagiarized it. Here ya go.

HOW TO END A CONVERSATION

We live in a social hellscape littered with talking heads, salesmen at the quota crisis point and acquaintances whose names we can't remember. We recognize that the exchange of pleasantries must be endured for the world to work, and most of these conversations are well-rehearsed dances—routines that get the job done. But all too many others play out like cringe-inducing conga lines. Oh, the awkwardness! And then the ennui! Dealing with other people can make each day feel like a Double Dare-style obstacle course (look it up, youngs!), with a grand prize of merely not going to jail for assault at the end of it.

Which brings us to an important question: Why is everybody always the worst all the time? Not just strangers and acquaintances, but even friends and family!¹ Perhaps it’s because we’ve all gotten used to the idea of having so many lines of communication available, on our own timetables, all the time. Human conversation can feel so… obsolete these days. Conceivably, you could wear headphones and communicate in pantomime, waving off anyone interrupting each precious “doing” of “something," the better to be left alone. If you wanted to be a dick about it, you could never have another boring conversation again.

But participation in the social condition isn't optional, even if it is inconvenient. So what's the best way to exit stage right when the conversation's work is done? Most people can sense when another person’s mind has drifted elsewhere, and the nice ones will then do the heavy lifting of wrapping things up for you. Sometimes both participants will simultaneously recognize that a conversation has nowhere left to go and the situation then resolves itself naturally. But sometimes it's going to be up to you to take action. Forcing a conversation into a half-nelson is a life skill that nobody should be without, like changing a tire or making a grilled cheese sandwich.

TELEPHONE
The situation: It’s a call you either wanted to take or had to take, but it’s now gone on too long.
Level of awkwardness: Low. The worst-case scenario is that the other person hears what you’re doing to keep from pulling the hair out of your own skull while the conversation drones on and calls you out on it. In which case you are about to either be hung up on or have an argument, which is at least sort of interesting.
How to handle: Phone calls are easy to disengage from thanks to lying! Anything in the world could require your attention as far as the other person knows. You don’t need a sound effect. You don’t need a third party to bail you out with a loud request for assistance. You are bound only by imagination. "Mandy Patinkin is about to serenade me" is completely acceptable.

GCHAT/FACEBOOK CHAT
The situation: That person you bought furniture from on Craigslist that one time? They are now a constellation in your Gchat-universe, and they’d like a word.
Level of awkwardness: Medium. The goal here is to extricate yourself from the person chatting you up without having to exit the application altogether. Is it okay to just leave that one chat-box down at the bottom of the screen open without a response? Will it be okay down there, or will it become sentient and angry?
How to handle: Take increasingly long pauses between responses. Apologize profusely and explain that you’re "putting out fires" or some such excuse, but then continue dragging out each response. Nobody can stand to be on the receiving end of that for long, and they'll soon move on.

SKYPE
The situation: The moment that occurs immediately after you've run out of things to say while Skyping lasts an eternity. If you haven't mutually agreed on an ironclad bailout-time, and the conversation falters, you're completely at the mercy of the other person (whom you probably love, but still.)
Level of awkwardness: High. You can see each other. You can see each other think.
How to handle: Few things are more depressing than looking someone dead in the eye and lying about being superbusy, only to turn around and have to stare down the gaping maw of an empty room. ² Better in this case to let the conversation decompose organically. But if you'd like to avoid that, you should be able to wind things down after a long pause by looking around and saying "Okay, I guess I’ll let you get back to [whatever the person normally does with their time]."

THE OFFICE
The situation: Where to even begin? The smallest small talk in the world always emanates from the largest offices. It comes in many varietals: the shared elevator ride, the cubicle pop-in, the hallway haranguing, and on and on. Since so many people spend the majority of their time at their places of employment, they get to sample every flavor of this rainbow at some point or another.
Level of awkwardness: High. Your colleagues are like a second family that it’s okay not to love. Some of them are interchangeable and others are irreplaceable, but they all have one thing in common: You cannot afford their hatred. The people you see every day need to be handled with care, lest they mess with your reputation and career. This means you have to endure whatever perversely mundane thing they might choose to discuss during the longest coffee brew ever, while not seeming for one second as though you're enduring it rather than enjoying it.
How to handle: At least 90% of all office conversations will end sufficiently well when you respond to a statement that carries even the faintest whiff of closure with a “Yes indeed” and a sage nod. Then get the hell out of there. Listen closely and you can turn anyone’s declarative statement into your exit line. Whatever happens, try to avoid emphasizing how busy you are. This salvo will be interpreted by the person you’re talking with as a passive-aggressive snipe suggesting that he or she is not busy, has never been busy, and couldn’t identify “busy” in a police lineup. Instead of vocalizing how busy you are, use body language. Angling your torso toward the nearest exit and twitching slightly is a useful signal that you’re late for something.

If the conversation is taking place in your office instead of theirs, just exaggerate the importance of every single distraction. Keep craning your neck toward your computer at every email ping, either real or imaginary. Nobody will refuse to pick up what you’re throwing down and keep you away from the results of the quarterly report or whatever. The only exception to this rule is if the person sitting across from you is either a boss or a client, in which case you maintain generous eye contact until your boss departs and/or the office lights are turned off for the day.

SHOPPING
The situation: Basically, there are two opportunities for prolonged awkward conversation when shopping: a salesperson getting chummy because he just watched Glengarry Glen Ross and is determined to close your brains out, or someone who mistakes the casual friendly comment you threw out (because you’re a terrific person) as an invitation to a box social.
Level of awkwardness: Low. However bad it gets, you can literally run away in mid-sentence and it won’t go on your permanent record.
How to handle: Any way you want. You will probably never see these people again and no matter what you say, they’ve heard ruder. The most polite way to dispatch a chatty clerk is to leave him or her laughing. Whatever garbage comes out of your mouth doesn’t have to be funny; as long as it sounds remotely like a joke, any salesperson will know it’s time to bark out a laugh like a trained seal near a barrelful of mackerel. Then you can bid farewell and keep it moving. (Actually, this method works for any scenario. You can stop reading now.)

THE SUBWAY
The situation: You see someone familiar on the platform. Your eyes lock. It’s that dude, Dennis, from that party that time. Unless a Michael Bay movie breaks out in the terminal in the next few seconds, the two of you are about to interface.
Level of awkwardness: Medium. Whatever you possibly have to say to each other will be entirely exhausted by the time the train arrives, but it would be rude not to ride together. Now you’re stuck talking to each other until one of you gets off. That, or you can pretend the next stop is your stop, get out there, and build a new life on Lorimer Street because it’s easier that way.
How to handle: On the bright side, Dennis could become your new best bud. This is how friendships flourish sometimes. However, if the payoff doesn’t seem worth the risk, there’s an opportunity to ditch him right when the train is approaching. You can beg off by informing him that your exit is near the opposite end of the subway. Nobody will ever challenge this claim. But if you do end up riding together and it is terrible, the silence between you must go on for at least one full minute before you can legally pull out headphones. At that point, you are only required to wave or nod when Dennis leaves.

AIRPLANE
The situation: The pain of being stuck in an unwanted transit conversation sinks to its nadir on a flight.
Level of awkwardness: High. Airplane conversationalists are often oblivious bores who pretend not to notice the hardcover book jacket you’re fingering so longingly. Or they’re terrified of flying and convinced that closing their mouth for too long will result in immediate fiery wreckage.
How to handle: Scraping this barnacle off your hull is going to be difficult. If you just whip out the usual sentences that begin with “Alright, well…” which you might use on a phone, you are still practically spooning each other for any number of uncomfortable hours. This proximity also makes an outright declaration of your intent to disengage impossible. Luckily, there is something about an airplane that naturally inspires drowsiness, making this the one social situation where it is 100% acceptable to fall asleep during. Fake-sleeping for a minimum of 20 minutes or so should sufficiently chasten your chatterbox—but not in a hostile way—allowing you to start watching Netflix without incident when you "wake up." Worst-case scenario: You actually fall asleep.

BARS AND CLUBS
The situation: When going out at night, there’s a fair chance of bumping into Dennis or his legion of brothers among the members of your extended group. If you’re a woman, you might also get hit on. Badly.
Level of awkwardness: Medium. Each of these scenarios is its own separate nightmare. Either way, it’s excruciating when you have nothing to say to the person standing two feet from you in a place with loud, booming music. The two extremes will weirdly bounce off and amplify each other until the words to whatever song is playing become like cartoon talk bubbles for an alternate version of what’s going unsaid. ³ This is assuming you’re not talking to the kind of person who would mark an awkward silence by pointing out that it is, in fact, an awkward silence (as though that ever helped out anything in the world).
How to handle: All you need to do is introduce a third party into the mix, and the first time the other ends of this triangle complete an official back and forth, you’re officially allowed to leave. As with the shopping situation, you only really have to endure this moment for as long as you feel the need to be polite. At any time really, you can start looking around as though you might have just spotted Judah Friedlander in the perimeter, and abruptly excuse yourself. Go to the bathroom for a while. Get a drink. Dance. You’re free.

KRISTEN STEWART IS GAY AND FASHION.

2011-01-30T13:20:00.000-08:00

LITERALLY.

PRESIDENTIAL FLIP FLOPS ARE GAY AND FASHION

2011-01-05T09:46:00.001-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

2011-01-02T16:39:00.000-08:00

ANOTHER YEAR ANOTHER WRINKLE

2010-12-21T14:15:00.000-08:00

As this year and this decade come to a close, we here at It's Not Gay.. It's Fashion are trying hard to age gracefully, and it's not easy. We can't turn on the television without seeing the alien faces of the Beverly Hills Housewives or the frozen demon mask that is Nicole Kidman.

Is surgery the only answer? Must we move to the U.K. in order to have our aging skin celebrated?

In an effort to quiet the non-invasive plastic surgery mania, we decided to focus on the problems that men are facing. Harrison Ford and Brad Pitt make it look easy- but it's not. There's more to middle-aged masculinity than viagra and beer bellys..

FUCK BOTOX. IT'S ALL ABOUT BALDING!

(and covering it with hair pieces, apparently)

And here's how the black guys do it!

CHIHUAHUAS ARE GAY AND FASHION.. AND JAPAN KNOWS IT.

2010-11-24T11:43:00.000-08:00

In the new millennium, Japan seems to have a major leg up on America. No matter how hard we try, they always seem to be one step ahead of us!

FASHION

TECHNOLOGY

FOOD

LANDSCAPING

DISEASE PREVENTION

And now they've freakin' done it again!

MOMO THE BRAVE PEACH

Meet MOMO! The world's smallest police dog. She's a long-haired chihuahua and her name mean's Peach. She made history when she beat out 40 (much larger) dogs to win a year long contract with the Japanese Police Department.

America seriously needs to get with the program. It's next-level thinking like this that made Japan the Superpower it is today.

ORGANIZED RELIGION IS SO CREEPY IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT

2010-11-07T19:20:00.000-08:00

“The wind whips through the canyons of the American Southwest, and there is no one to hear it but us – a reminder of the 40,000 generations of thinking men and women who preceded us, about whom we know almost nothing, upon whom our civilization is based.”

- Dr. Carl Sagan

ADULT ONSET ADD IS NOT GAY OR FASHION

2010-10-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

CNN.com is doing a weeklong series called "Our Mobile Lives" about cell phones and how they impact our lifestyle and culture. So far the coverage is neither groundbreaking nor surprising, yet it is nevertheless very disturbing.

Here are some horrifying highlights from SMARTPHONES: OUR NATIONAL OBSESSION by John D Sutter..

There are serious questions about what these gadgets may be doing to our brains. Some researchers say intense multitasking degrades a person's ability to focus deeply, think creatively and, in the end, be more productive. Smartphones are among the technologies promoting this mode of thinking, where people toggle continually between streams of information.

A 2009 Stanford University research study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that multitaskers -- those who try to view two or more types of media simultaneously -- are more easily distracted.

"They're suckers for irrelevancy," Stanford professor Clifford Nass said in a written statement about the study, which examined 262 university students. "Everything distracts them."

DOES THIS DESCRIBE YOU?

BARBARA BOXER IS A FIERCE ASS BITCH

2010-09-29T09:01:00.000-07:00

The race is on for the California senate seat and (until recently) we honestly didn't know who we were going to vote for come November.

It was a toss up between democratic incumbent, Barbara Boxer, who is a career politician with a reputation for not getting much done, and republican new kid on the block Carly Fiorina, who has little political experience, but was the powerful ceo of Hewlitt Packard for 6 years.

Our fence-sitting came to an abrupt end when Fiorina's camp put out an attack ad on Boxer. The ad (which was meant to alienate) endeared us to Barbara Boxer in a way that no political debate or platform ever could.

Carly Fiorina is here to stop arrogance (which she is doing very arrogantly).

FATHER OF THE YEAR!

2010-09-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

JOIN THE FACEBOOK FANPAGE TO SUPPORT JAMES JONES!

OVER-RATED & UNDER-DIRECTED

2010-09-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

THE BIG C is pretty good.

For a show with actual actors and actual scripts, it's pretty entertaining. The writing is bitchy enough and witty enough to drag our attention away from gemstones like The Bad Girls Club on Oxygen or Flipping Out on Bravo or any of the Housewives in any of the cities except the OC.

There's just one problem with The Big C.

THE BIG G.

Gabourey Sidibe sucks. And it's not because she's fat. It's because she sucks. HER ACTING SUCKS. She seriously bugs on the show.

How could she be perfect in Precious and shitty on Showtime??? The answer lies with the director. It wasn't Gabby that was the genius in Precious. It was Lee Daniels. And it's not Gabby that's bombing The Big C. It's whatever crappy director is directing that week. She probably won't be consistently bad, because the directors hired won't all be amateurs- but either way- it's pretty fucking annoying.

Bill Condon directed the Pilot episode of The Big C (and for those of you who don't know.. he also directed another over-rated, crappy actress, Jennifer Hudson, in the most over-rated movie of the millennium, DREAMGIRLS).

Here is a little taste of what Bill Condon has to offer, via a scene that he FAILED to direct from the pilot.

It's a good thing Laura Linney needs no direction since he clearly didn't offer any.

NACHO SINGS THE BLUES

2010-08-17T18:58:00.001-07:00

2010-07-29T08:40:00.000-07:00

IF YOU'RE DEAD INSIDE, THEN WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

ALL TIME FAVORITE CONAN!

2010-07-02T01:07:00.006-07:00

Conan O'Brien with Jordan Schlansky - watch more funny videos

MOVE OVER BACON!

2010-07-01T16:45:00.000-07:00

JOY BEHAR IS GAY AND FASHION

2010-06-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

We are LOVING her new show. Next to The Daily Show, it's the best place to get informed. And if you're lucky- you might get a taste of Nancy Grace before your tivo cuts off- and that is one crazy bitch!

ATTENTION: DR. DREW! AMERICA NEEDS AN OIL INTERVENTION

2010-06-06T17:44:00.000-07:00

We just saw Sex and the City 2 and the only thing we came away with was- THE MIDDLE EAST SUCKS!

In the movie, the girls take a trip to Abu Dhabi. WTF is Abu Dhabi??

In a nutshell, Abu Dhabi is a city in the Persian Gulf near Saudi Arabia. It's one of the largest producers of oil and is LITERALLY the richest city in the world. Fortune Magazine said the population of Abu Dhabi has the highest level of per capita wealth at $1 million PER PERSON.

Between nasty oil spills and gross Arab sheiks- the cost of oil has gotten entirely too high, and we need to kick the habit.

But what can we as Americans do to help get the country into rehab?? After a full two minutes of intense googling, we couldn't find any course of action (other than buying a hybrid, and those still use oil).

SO WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO?

IT'S THE SUMMERTIME. JUST DO IT

2010-06-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

MONOCLES ARE GAY AND FASHION

2010-05-11T22:12:00.001-07:00

Schindler's List ain't got nothin' on Family Guy

2010-05-03T09:45:00.000-07:00

Last night, Fox aired the 150th episode of Family Guy, and it was an hour long, shit-filled, sentimental affair that had us at hello.

If you haven't seen it, get the hell over to Hulu and check it out, but make sure you have some tissues handy, cause this is this a tear-jerker.

LADYHAWKE IS GENIUS.

2010-04-27T22:27:00.000-07:00

We might be late to the party, but this bitch is so freakin' fuckin' awesome that we aren't embarrassed to hurl ourselves onto her bandwagon. We don't know if she's gay, but the music is definitely gay. And fashion.

GROSS.

2010-04-19T07:43:00.000-07:00

PLANTERS CHEEZ BALLS ARE GAY AND FASHION

2010-04-10T21:56:00.001-07:00

WTF happened to Planters Cheez Balls?

When did we forget about them and when did they disappear?

Well, we remembered them 2 months ago and haven't stopped jonesing since. Unfortunately, they have been discontinued and now it's up to US to get them back. And by US- we mean YOU.

Click HERE to sign the petition to bring back the taste of the eighties.

THIS IS WHAT LIFE FEELS LIKE

2010-04-06T20:44:00.000-07:00

THANKS FOR THE NEWSFLASH

2010-03-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

IT'S HAPPENING. GET INTO IT.

2010-03-23T11:23:00.001-07:00

THIS IS NOT ZACH GALIFIANAKIS

2010-03-20T17:46:00.000-07:00

Living in Hollywood numbs us to the excitement of seeing Celebretards. That being said, it never fails to entertain when a Celeb LOOK-ALIKE crosses our path- and it poses the question- do normal people who are just living their lives think it's annoying when a celebrity comes out of nowhere and steals their look?? Do they find it utterly tedious that they are doomed for a lifetime of You look just like.. or Hey! There's so and so..

We think the answer is no. We think they love being a near celebretard. Who wouldn't?

LET'S HEAR IT FOR MISSISSIPPI!

2010-03-12T18:40:00.001-08:00

The shittiest state in the union.

If you're gay or black (or both) and you still live in Shittissippi- you're an asshole. That's terrorist country.

NARCISSISM IS GAY AND FASHION

2010-03-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

We haven't posted a blog in a couple weeks. Gay figure skaters and award-winning female directors have come and gone and nothing has inspired us.

And now Corey Haim.

But won't every other blog be writing about this? Is there anything new to say? Not really.

RIP- A GENERATION LOST

THIS PICTURE IS NOT FASHION, BUT IT IS SO GAY!

2010-02-22T20:56:00.001-08:00

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION- PART 2

2010-02-16T17:21:00.000-08:00

This feels gross and (much like Kevin Smith) very self-indulgent, but we can't help but share our new show with the 5 people who read this blog.

So here's the link!

www.autostraddle.com

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION: PART 1

2010-02-08T00:17:00.000-08:00

Gay and Fashion have come together in a profound way in our new webseries which will debut this month on AUTOSTRADDLE .

The show is called "Julie & Brandy: In Your Box Office." Here is a sneak peak.

IT'S JUST A PHASE. IF YOU MAKE IT A LIFETIME- YOU'RE A TOOL.

2010-02-02T13:08:00.000-08:00

INFOMERCIAL CRACKDOWN!!!

2010-01-29T15:52:00.000-08:00

BEWARE! NONE OF THESE PRODUCTS WORK AS ADVERTISED:

Peticure Nail Clipper

Smooth Away Hair Remover

ShamWow Absorbent Towels

THE TOPSY TURVY TOMATO PLANTER IS THE ONLY ONE THAT WORKS, AND IT IS WELL WORTH THE MONEY!

JERSEY SHORE: AN ANALOGY ON LIFE

2010-01-23T19:24:00.000-08:00

There's way too many Situations in the world....

And not enough Pauly D.'s

THE LATE NIGHT DEBACLE..

2010-01-17T17:05:00.000-08:00

Does anyone even really give a shit??

The only one who should be pissed is Joan Rivers- because she was ROBBED (and so were we)- when they denied her a place on late night.

HERE'S TO SPENDING ALL WEEKEND IN BED.

2010-01-08T21:07:00.000-08:00

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE????

2009-12-31T09:45:00.000-08:00

Good Morning America, the same show that cancelled Adam Lambert's scheduled performance on their show after he kissed a guy on stage at the American Music Awards, has gone ahead and booked CHRIS BROWN to perform.

Apparently, gays are not stomachable for the American public in the morning- but wife-beaters are?????????

And that's why we ONLY watch Good Day L.A.

THAT'S WHAT MAKES MY LIFE SO FUCKING FANTASTIC

2009-12-28T19:30:00.000-08:00

I want to be rich and I want lots of money

I don`t care about clever I don`t care about funny

I want loads of clothes and fuck-loads of diamonds

I heard people die while they are trying to find them

I`ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless

`Cuz everyone knows that`s how you get famous

I`ll look at the sun and I`ll look in the mirror

I`m on the right track yeah I`m on to a winner

I don`t know what`s right and what`s real anymore

I don`t know how I`m meant to feel anymore

When do we think it will all become clear?

`Cuz I`m being taken over by The Fear

Life`s about film stars and less about mothers

It`s all about fast cars and passing each other

But it doesn`t matter cause I`m packing plastic

and that`s what makes my life so fucking fantastic

And I am a weapon of massive consumption

it's not my fault- it`s how I`m programmed to function

I`ll look at the sun and I`ll look in the mirror

I`m on the right track yeah I`m on to a winner

I don`t know what`s right and what`s real anymore

I don`t know how I`m meant to feel anymore

When do we think it will all become clear?

`Cuz I`m being taken over by The Fear

Forget about guns and forget ammunition

Cause I`m killing them all on my own little mission

Now I`m not a saint and I`m not a sinner

But everything is cool as long as I`m getting thinner

I don`t know what`s right and what`s real anymore

I don`t know how I`m meant to feel anymore

When do we think it will all become clear?

`Cause I`m being taken over by The Fear

~Lily Allen

SCREW MICHAEL JACKSON..

2009-12-23T14:50:00.001-08:00

In 2010- it's all about JACKIE.

Of all the Jacksons (and we do mean- ALL the Jacksons), Jackie is the classiest, the most true to himself, and has the least plastic surgery. We love this gentle giant.

HOLIDAY GIFT GIVING GUIDE

2009-12-17T23:29:00.000-08:00

It's too late to use this guide for Hanukkah, but Jews wouldn't want any of these gifts anyway.

HE'S THE DEFINITION OF GAY AND FASHION.

2009-12-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

Celebrity stylist Extraordinaire - BRAD GORESKI.

AS FAR AS FASION GOES-

2009-12-01T10:20:00.000-08:00

This bitch is the bee's knees.

IT'S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP..

2009-11-25T19:07:00.000-08:00

Double standards abound for this gay provocateur, and while we commend Adam Lambert for remaining true to himself and pushing the envelope- we wish his album had turned out better. The songs are a bit of a let down.

This guy probably isn't gay..

2009-11-09T14:04:00.000-08:00

And he CLEARLY isn't fashion, but this pillow is genius.

Along with Ambien and wine, this shit is a necessity for international flights. Here's where you can get your very own-

www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=96981577&c=

ADAM LAMBERT- GAY OR FASHION?

2009-11-06T02:26:00.000-08:00

American Idol alum Adam Lambert just released the cover of his much-anticipated debut album, For Your Entertainment (scheduled to drop Mon, Nov 23). The image, a slickly styled glam-rock self-portrait, has drawn fire from the straight and narrow.

WE AT, IT'S NOT GAY.. IT'S FASHION, FEEL THIS SHIT IS NEXT LEVEL AND WE COMMEND ADAM FOR BEING SO AHEAD OF HIS TIME WHILE WISELY HONORING THOSE BEFORE HIM.

WE'RE MAKING A MOVIE! AND YES, IT'S GAY.. AND FASHION.

2009-10-24T23:24:00.000-07:00

In the interest of full disclosure- here's the deal:

The movie is called Nicest Thing and it's a lesbian, romantic comedy starring Tammy Etheridge, Julie Goldman, Brandy Howard, and Sharon Gless!

Visit the official website for more details! www.nicestthingthemovie.com

There's also some other gay/fashion people in the movie. Gay people such as Kate McKinnon, Guinevere Turner, Paul Vogt, Michael Serrato, and Kate Clinton. And one non-gay (yet still very fashionable) Bryce Johnson.

Tammy Etheridge even wrote about it on her blog!

http://hollywoodfarmgirl.blogspot.com/2009/07/my-angels-and-nicest-thing.html

http://hollywoodfarmgirl.blogspot.com/2009/07/round-clock-face-in-blink-of-eye.html

PLASTIC SURGERY FACE IS NOT GAY OR FASHION.

2009-10-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

In this day and age- it's hard not to succumb to the pressures of plastic surgery. But we here at Itsnotgayitsfashion.blogspot.com are here to solute those ladies out there that have the guts and the class (and the gorgeous hair) to grow older gracefully.

Here's to not lookin' like an alien freak!

Sharon Gless and Kate Clinton are so sexy!!!!

CHECK IT OUT!

2009-09-20T11:57:00.000-07:00

The girls running this website are hot and they know what's up. It's the dawning of a new era in lesbian media, and THIS is going to be the frontrunner.

www.autostraddle.com BOOKMARK IT.

PROJECT RUNWAY- EPISODE 5

2009-09-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

"THE CREEP BEHIND DOOR NUMBER 3"

Children, fashion week in New York has got my royal bunions in a bind. This spring's forecast is 80's trampette. Mother was forced to sit on the runway and look at all manner of frippery and discarded lives, and items of clothing I wouldn't even deliver to my favourite Chinese laundress. When one packs for the country this coming season, remember the rules of good grace: If a bow appears on the heads of others- shun it and refrain the impulse to end up on that runway to hell! You only have six chances in life to prove you are not among the un-washed, and after six you get the egg roll!

Now, I have another major scoop for you lovely readers. Were u wondering about those "A" list Hollywood judges that took the place of Nina Garcia and Michael Kors this season? You may recall me telling you that Miss Garcia had obligations in New York. She is barely holding down her new job as fashion editor at Marie Claire magazine (she was fired from her last post), and she has some cause of concern as Miss Hearst (of the Newspaper fortune) has joined the team. At last the magazine has a celebrity name on the roster and someone I might add with a real CHIN (or money enough to buy one if the present doesn't photograph correctly). On the other hand, Mr. Kors had a buying trip to Italy for fabrics (and he sucked some dick all along the way leaving strange orange coloured hand prints on the bathroom walls throughout Italy, but you didn't hear it from me ducky).

My dears, I will only give up a few choice pieces of liver this meal....

John Varvatos who was Divine!

Bob Mackie-

Who lent a level of chic that Project Runway did not deserve!!

And Door Number 3!!!

Christina Aguilera-

This poor bitch was the subject of a designer challenge. What the designers should have created was Paper Bags!!!

She arrived smelling like bug spray and devoured a spam sandwich for lunch. We were all shocked when this cheap, bottle-blonde hussy walked from behind the famous Project Runway backdrop. Sure she has a voice (a daily diet of cum and hair bleach doesn't hurt), but what gives this brazen bitch the idea that she can design clothes??? I will say she did put her golden throat and her trick pelvis to work as she walked down the runway. We did note the pieces of her over-bleached blonde hair that cascaded from her head with every step.

Keep watching!! And remember, "Park Avenue appears to have a chicken in every pot AND also a Pole in every bedroom."

~Lorna Hansen Forbes

PROJECT RUNWAY FINALISTS- SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!

2009-09-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

It's Not Gay..It's Fashion has the exclusive on Project Runway and you won't find this gossip ANYWHERE else on the world wide web. Our senior fashion correspondent Lorna Hansen Forbes has this week's dish and behind-the-scenes antics. Oh, and she's also gonna tell you who the top 3 finalists are! So don't keep reading if you don't want the inside scoop.

*****

Children, are you sitting down?

We chug onto episode 4 this week and I have a lot of things to explain to you all. But first, I think that all of you have great hopes for the designers on the show and you are all dying to know who the final 3 will be...

Well here it is, as ONLY I can deliver to you the FULL scoop!!!

IRINA

CAROL HANNAH

ALTHEA

That right dahlings. Not a single MAN made it into the top three Why?? Because they all sucked. Now you can watch and see just how bad they were!

ANDY COHEN

Sweeties, all of you know Andy Cohen from Bravo reunion's of Project Runway and the Housewives series. Mr. Cohen is head of programming for Bravo by day, and a first-class, international HO by night. Whether it be St. Tropez in the summer, or in the Hamptons crawling the gutters and licking up ooze, no one has the time and opportunities of Andy Cohen.

Last season, I was shocked to see none other than RALPH FIENNES sniffing around the craft service table at Parsons School of Design. We all wondered if he was a replacement guest judge. We'd all heard about his sexual run-in with an airlines stewardess on a flight from the UK. (He was caught in the bathroom licking Marmite from the Vagina of "Sally Rand," a former page three girl, and top-heavy pole-dancer in her spare time, when she is not plying her trade on the runways of Virgin Atlantic, handing out packages of "wash and dry" and spreading CHEESE to the passengers.

RALPH FIENNES

I would have great remorse if I didn't tell you that Mr. Ralph Fiennes had a final act of ATONEMENT- using Andy Cohen's asshole.

I ran into them on the beach doing the dirty deed and later that night at CAVE DU ROI in St. Tropez. They were in the back, in the corner, in the dark. And this time, Andy was sitting bare- assed on a bottle of Cristal trying hard to star in his own re-make of Irma La Douche.

L'Oreal Paris and Public Lies

Children, please don't think you can achieve the looks from the runway using L'Oreal products. I was told that the products the crew uses are Chanel, Make-up Forever and Air Bush Makeup foundations. Period! Have you ever had a chance to visit the lifetime website and check out the L'Oreal Paris room? And then wonder why the models they use are never from the actual show?Because the artist named COLLIER STRONG never worked A SINGLE DAY in the L'Oreal Paris room. Not a single day in six seasons!! Having NEVER done a show for any known designer in his life, he would not know a runway look from the craters on his face. The consultations you see before the finale are a hoax. They take place during fashion week in New York. While the show is being filmed, Mr. Strong was in LA with some guys panties on his face trying to improve the condition of his skin.

MICHAEL KORS

Lastly, Michael "Orange glo" Kors remains the bitter, Bitten Queen that you know and love from the show. His presence during the taping of season 6 was greatly reduced due to prior commitments. Like Truman Capote, Mr. Kors spends hours talking about his high-profile celebrity clients in the worst possible way. Who's on a diet and who's fucking whom- remains his only acid tongue script, from the moment he arrives anywhere. His ever-present boyfriend "Donkey Dick" Lance (whom he met at the old cockring club in New York) spent his days shining poles and looking for new black outfits for his paramour to wear. Michael Kors is the only designer to own a working street lamp in his bedroom. Well, I guess even a slut needs practice!

~Lorna Hansen Forbes

PROJECT RUNWAY- EPISODE 3 RECAP & GOSSIP!

2009-09-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

For her 3rd installment, our senior fashion contributor Lorna Hansen Forbes is back with her Project Runway tidbits, and this week- watch out! She is on fire!!

She was there folks, on set, for EVERY episode. And this shit is next level...

Listen Up Children,

By now most of you have followed Project Runway for many seasons. And by now you are aware of the move to California for Season 6. The Lifetime Network really went all out for the new production, filling the dressing rooms with Dom Perignon Champaign and " I-Life" gadgets to add to the appeal of the lower production values provided by "Bunim-Murray production" which won the contract to produce the show. The only show this company had previously produced was "The Real World" for MTV. My big surprise was their choice of executive producer, Ethan Cohan, a hulking, pink-skinned, pig- leather queen with shaved eyebrows who swears he's straight!! Reading her teas...He was fired from season 3 after being caught tied to a chair in the control room at Parsons School of Design and left in a compromising position over night with an unmentionable facsimile on his mouth! Now you may say..what would a Park Avenue maven like me know about these things? Plenty Bitches! Why, a few of my set have confirmed their very own "LICK HER" licenses when the mood strikes them (Diane Von Furstenberg ..I am talking about you bitch)!!

Heidi Klum's"Curl up & DIE" look on Project Runway..

My Dahlings, I don't have to tell you anything- you know what's wrong. Or do you? Have you taken a look at Ms Klum's hair styles this season? Does she appear to look BITTEN about the head on every close-up? Please don't blame it on the, "it-never-rains-in-California" inclement weather; But rather- it's in the hands of a broken-nosed, coke-fiend name Helena Faccenda or "Faccia Brute" (ugly face in Italian) as she is lovingly named on the set of Project Runway.. To remove one's eye from her face, Helena Face-Ender, I mean Faccenda, adorns herself with every level of Couture made in the business and completes her look with a convenient gold spoon wrapped around her ugly-duckling neck. Unfortunately for her, no amount of Dior or Chanel or 7-inch Manolo's can raise her from the depths of the Staten Island gutter from which she escaped.

Helena Faccenda-
"Give me $20 and some mouthwash, and I'll do ya!!"

** Helena Faccenda has a fascinating past. Her ex-husband smashed her face with a hammer. The same one he wore on his tool belt when he finished his daily job working in the New York City sewers. (Now behave. Ed Norton from The Honeymooners was NOT his father- but your close). Helena's nose remained broken for a year as she contemplated working as a cartoonist model for Shrek but that was too much for the folks at Disney, so she went into hairdressing instead. The coke years hit Ms. Faccenda like a proverbial rock (no pun intended), and with her one good nostril- she snorted and sucked up drugs by night and curled up hair (and toes) by day. (Helena's big break came after giving a blow job to Bon Jovi in the hair salon's bathroom). So, she pressed on- dressed in camel toe, shit-stained panties from nights of greasy pasta dishes- into hairdressing history. And right on to Heidi Klum's golden head. **

When Helena arrived at the LA studio for Project runway she requested a Monitor so she could count the split ends she had carefully constructed on Heidi's head, and was overheard muttering about being stopped at LAX- and being stripped searched for drugs. I know ducky. How would you feel if whenever you landed at an airport, you were always being met by a pack of police dogs, and like Santa's reindeer, you knew each by name?! (One dog- named Old Yeller- she requested to be held back for the vaginal search).

SOCCER MOM HEIDI HOE DESIGNED BY HELENA ( FACCIA BRUTE) FACCENDA

This week children, Ms. Klum wore a PONYTAIL (how original). The back of it looks like a gathering of field mice. Each golden strand appears to be saying, "you don't bother me and I won't bother you!!"
This episodes guest Judge is Rachel Bilson! On loan from MGM doing the remake of the film" CAN CAN." (I know, I know. She didn't bother to change her wardrobe, but she did remove her crinoline from under skirt so her ass could fit in the chair).
Meanwhile, NINA Garcia looks out onto the runway for any signs of Spanish RED in a haze of chin-less wonderment!!

I'm off to lunch now at @ 21 club. Looking for my pearl-handle derringer to put in my Chanel baguette clutch (you never know when you might have to shoot a few bitches). See you next week when we explore the filthy used anus of Michael KORS.

~Lorna Hansen Forbes

MOVIE MOB WASN'T GAY OR FASHION, AND THAT'S WHY IT'S CANCELLED

2009-09-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

We auditioned for a little show called ""Movie Mob" (and by audition, we mean- we made a homemade tape and mailed it in). The show was a crappy movie review show that aired 500 times a day on the Reelz Channel. Ever heard of it? We didn't think so.

The basic concept was- average Joe's go and see movies and then review them for the audience on their webcams. We were so desperate to get on that we subjected ourselves to watching "The Proposal" and then taped ourselves reviewing it.

We were ignored by producers and ultimately rejected, and seriously considered suing until we got the glorious news that the shitbag show had been cancelled. Yeah! REDEMPTION.

Unfortunately for the 3 followers of this blog (we know who you are and we love you for reading!), the only thing left for us to do with this tape- is post it on here. It's not the funniest thing ever recorded, but it does get mildly entertaining about half way thru when we (literally) do a re-enactment of a scene pretending to be Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds.

Enjoy.

Project Runway- Episode 2!

2009-08-27T19:21:00.001-07:00

Our Senior Fashion Correspondent, Lorna Hansen Forbes is back with her weekly recap and inside scoop on Project Runway.

Tonight the mystery guest judge is Rebecca Romijn; and a very pregnant one, being that this episode was shot months ago. Since then, she's had twins!!! (Too bad her ex-husband John stamos asked me out for a date. No, those are NOT his kids).

Please take a look tonight at semi-permanent judge, NINA-I hate anything red- GARCIA.. Having escaped the bare-foot, chicken-coop country called Columbia, she emerges as the pinnacle of taste; too bad she left her CHIN behind. With her legendary Hispanic trick pelvis, she married well at least. Hubby is an investment banker, and even though she is the daughter of a washer woman- she still has an advantage on us all! That might be true, but take a good look children, and tell me why her hair always looks like it's been hit by an evil wind?

Ms. Garcia has an aversion to anything red. She says it's TOO SPANISH!! So, the Runway crew played a cruel trick on her and had a stand-in made up to look like an old Hispanic woman with red lips and a rose glued to her head. The caricature was placed on her dressing room door at the Project Runway studio in Los Angeles.

She tried her best to evoke a well-studied "Devil Wears Prada" gazed look of horror when she approached her door. I think her chin grew an inch with the atrocity of it all.

So, we are one crazy bitch designer down from last week. And the nude antebellum dress was horrible- even if he was able to finish it. Personally, I thought they both needed to go!

And- Model of the runway! What drama. More on that next week children.

~Lorna Hansen Forbes

LINDSAY LOHAN ON THE SEASON PREMIERE OF PROJECT RUNWAY!!

2009-08-17T19:13:00.000-07:00

Thursday night marks the season premiere of Project Runway on Lifetime and our senior fashion correspondent Lorna Hansen Forbes is here to dish all the dirt FIRSTHAND on the very first celebrity judge- Lindsay Lohan..

Children we need to talk...

Did you ever wonder the origin of a hair weave??? What dead (or desperate) person found themselves clinging on the precipice of life, holding a rusty pair of scissors in hand? Or the morgue body that got its last wash and set, and then found itself alive on Beyonce's head in St. Tropez, or being scratched by a crack addict..

Or, perhaps on the new season of Project Runaway on Lifetime in the clutches of Lindsey lohan!!!!!

On that blustery LA morning, Miss Lohan arrived with a pair of butt-ugly, simian-like, drag-queen hair and make-up artists. Serving muffin top ensembles and looking like cinderella's ugly step sisters with blubber sandwiches in their lunch boxes, they proceeded to wave that evil wand on the very deserving Miss Lohan. Lets just say all three smelled of cheese.

When that labor of love was over, Miss Lohan took her seat on the runway (where it should have been was a runway at LAX).
Her woven, wheels to hell was greased for full effect. This was
evident by the strikingly strange strands of nasty weave hair that cascaded down her back making a 45 degree decent to fashion Hades. It looked like crotch hair from a 12th century Nun suffering from the pox. When she spoke I almost expected her to spit out her teeth.. Her bitten toe nails clung to a pair of stolen Manolo B's shoes (the source of the cheese..you think?) We all feared that when she crossed her legs in that director chair- the view of her crotch hair would turn us to stone. Crispsy. Cheesy. Crunchy.

I will be your guide to the weekly episodes beginning August 15 on Lifetime...you will have behind the scenes info a week before it's shown, and photos of the models to spice the potluck menu of fashion's dirtier bits.

I leave you with the quote of the week I overheard lunching at mortimer's on Tuesday, "There's two things a weave-wearing heifer will do- tell a lie and suck a dick."

~Lorna Hansen Forbes

THE FANNY PACK CONUNDRUM

2009-08-10T07:11:00.000-07:00

Fanny Packs are frequently gay, but they are CLEARLY never fashion. This poses an interesting problem for the utilitarian lesbos who don't want to be the dork with the fanny pack, but absolutely REFUSE to be the lady with the purse. Hmm..

Let's consider the options:

The first thing that comes to mind is carrying no bag at all. If you're a man-lady, just use a wallet and put it in your pocket (you're obviously wearing the type of pants that have pockets). But that solution ignores the fact that manly ladies are still women, and at the end of the day most women (especially lesbians) want to be PREPARED when they leave the house. A wallet doesn't leave much room for holding things that you're bringing along "just in case" you need to be helpful. Because as we know, lesbians love being helpful.

This brings us back to carrying a bag. A backpack is always a great option for the more masculine gay gal, but these can get bulky and heavy, especially if you're just running around for the day. Sometimes one needs a smaller bag.

If you must use a fanny pack, and I know you will (and so will we)- here are some cute alternatives that will take you from TRAGIC LOSER to someone with FASHION BALLS in two seconds flat.

And if you feel like you can't afford to replace the fanny pack that you bought for $40 from LL BEAN with an even more expensive one (like the ones pictured above), than you can always take your same old, tired black one and throw it over your shoulder for a modern twist on a dorky standby. You'll look like you're careless and chic, and you'll feel like your wearing a gun holster. And who doesn't want to feel like they're packing major weaponry while they are walking around on their family vacation? **

SEND US YOUR SUCCESS STORIES! Take a pic of yourself with your new or "new & improved" fanny pack and email it to us. Then we'll post your picture for your friends and family to see. It's better than Facebook!
*Before and After pictures preferred.

Top Lesbo Chef!!

2009-07-31T21:09:00.000-07:00

Lesbians rule.

IN SEARCH OF.. THE GAY PIMP.

2009-07-24T00:38:00.000-07:00

We asked ourselves.. How can we fill Los Angeles with even more fashion and even more gayness? And we realized.. only one man can do it.

TAMMY ETHERIDGE IS THE SHIT.

2009-07-22T20:48:00.001-07:00

Hilarious. Underrated. Hot.

READER REQUEST: GAYSIANS

2009-07-22T19:13:00.000-07:00

A disgruntled reader/uber-fan sent us the following comment:

"How can you have a blog about gayness and fashion and not have anything on Asian dudes? Asian dudes are the clearest intersection of faggotry and fashion. The fact that I have to point that out to you destroys all of your blog's cred."

We stand corrected.

ALASKA FASHION.

2009-07-19T17:27:00.000-07:00

The fashions in Alaska were next level. And though it was intimidating, we did our best to fit in.

From Skagachan to Ketchinaeu and the small stop in Seannada - we couldn't believe our eyes. Paradise was all around us!

PS. That is NOT a lesbian with Fashion, that is an actual Alaskan Boy with an actual Lesbian Mandolin.

ALASKA + CRUISE = GAY

2009-07-11T07:56:00.000-07:00

We are taking a gay cruise to Alaska! And you know what that means... FASHION. Many people don't know this, but Alaska is the fashion capital of the western world.

FASHION OR GAY? You decide.

2009-07-09T14:15:00.001-07:00

GAY FASHION ICON

2009-07-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

WE can't have a blog about fashion and gayness and not include a tribute to our leader. Amanda Bearse. (Pronounced - BURSE.) Get it right people.

DON'T HATE.

2009-07-08T19:49:00.000-07:00

Wheel of Fortune is super fashion. And super gay.

INTRODUCING......GAY and FASHION. 90's style.

2009-07-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

Hey. S'up. We're GAY and FASHION. We recently did a photo shoot for our movie - And by movie we mean the script we wrote. By Hand. In Cursive. The movie starts out in High School flashbacks in the 90's and so for our cover page we took a little 90's photo shoot. Get into it.